Mars For Sale

Purchase Moon Land - Authorized Lunar Embassy Agent

Inspired by this website that sells land on the moon, I decided to look into getting my Celestial Realtor's License. I thought it would be a difficult and lengthy process, but it was rather quick and easy actually. Sure, it was costly ($1,200), but I expect to make that money back before too long. As part of my instructional materials, I received a set of videos about my chosen specialty - Mars. It's the red planet, you know!

I'm thinking that with all the hurricanes, earthquakes and other natural disasters recently occuring here on Earth and the subsequent speculation by some of an upcoming apocalypse, now's a great time for people to get into the real estate market on other planets. I'm no dummy, I know that Mars has the climate and atmosphere most similar to Earth's, so where are people gonna go if we're forced to "relocate"?

Let me make it clear to all my fellow Stumblers that this is not a sales pitch, but for the sake of satisfying your curiosity I will mention that land on Mars goes for $399 per acre. I know, it's a little steep, especially when compared to the going price of land on the moon ($29.99 per acre). You have to understand though that the moon is nowhere near being "prime" real estate. It has lots of holes, which drops the value significantly, and the atmosphere makes it very impractical to live there. Plus, remember how stupid the astronauts looked as they were hopping around on the moon? Nuff said.

I realize that LunarLand.com has already announced their own plans to eventually sell land on Mars, but I'm the only one licensed and doing it NOW. After much exhaustive research I've determined that Mars is gonna be the Beverly Hills of the solar system, so you'd be wise to get in while prices are this low (not a solicitation, just a little advice). Remember too, the universe is huge and if there is life on other planets, you never know when one of "their" realtors is gonna get the idea to sell land on Mars and if they colonize it first, we technically have no claim to the land. Consider the ramifications of that in the face of an actual apocalypse and I think you'll agree that now is the time to act.