Monday, February 27, 2006

But The Meat's a Better Defender

Soccer team trades player ... for meat - Soccer -

Image hosting by Photobucket
"Romanian second division soccer club UT Arad sold a player in exchange for 33 pounds of meat, local sport daily Pro Sport reported on Monday.

However, the deal turned out badly for fourth-division Regal Horia, because defender Marius Cioara decided to end his soccer career and find a job in agriculture or construction in Spain.

"We are upset because we lost twice -- firstly because we lost a good player and secondly because we lost our team's food for a whole week," a Regal Horia official was quoted as saying by the daily in its electronic edition."

Image hosting by Photobucket
At what point in his career do you think it occurred to this guy that he's not exactly Pelé? I think when you get traded for some meat but decide to retire instead and the team that traded you is bummed out that they aren't getting the meat, that pretty much let's you know where you stand.

Dance Dance Dance!

No dance-off needed after "Dancing" finale - Dancing with the Stars -

Image hosting by Photobucket
"The producers of "Dancing With The Stars" are undoubtedly breathing a sigh of relief after Sunday's finale. While last year's conclusion sparked controversy eventually leading to a grudging "dance-off," this year's win by Drew Lachey and his partner Cheryl Burke will go down much more easily with viewers, and rightly so."

Image hosting by Photobucket
I didn't watch last season of "Dancing With the Stars" and I didn't watch this season either, but I'm gonna act like I watched it and say that I was really hoping for a "dance-off" on the finale yesterday. Is there anything more exciting in life than a dance-off? I certainly don't think so! In fact, I was hoping Drew Lachey would collapse from exhaustion at some point only to jump up as they're carting him off to do that Russian dance that Fonzie did in the episode of "Happy Days" where he entered the dance contest with "Shortcake" and won. Only with Lachey and his partner the win would be legit. Fonzie of course cheated bigtime because the entire premise of his dance contest was that the couple that danced the longest non-stop would win. Fonzie laid on that stretcher a good minute before his "miracle" recovery. That other couple should have filed a protest or something.

Some Things Shouldn't Be So Convenient

Image hosting by Photobucket
There's a bank near my house that looks something like this, though I don't recall if it's a Citizens Bank or what. The weird thing about this bank though is that it's in a very small building but only half of it is the bank, which is in the back and the other half, which is facing the road, is a liquor store. What a combination! It's perfect when you think about it. You can get liquored up in the front to kind of get your nerve up and then rob the bank in the back all in one convenient building. Though it's small, the bank still manages to have a drive thru so you can even rob it from inside your getaway car. Of course, it all goes up in smoke if you get pulled over for drunk driving, but that's a "cross that bridge when you get there" situation really.

UPDATE: It occurred to me that this whole bank/liquor store may be some kind of modern day "Speakeasy", except when you go into the liquor store and give "the word" they hook you up with a savings account. It's one theory anyway.

Saturday, February 25, 2006


Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket

Image hosting by Photobucket
Seperated At Birth?

Friday, February 24, 2006

U Can't Blog This!

MC Hammer

Image hosting by Photobucket
"What a good feeling to see that everywhere I look, no matter what name they put on it, everybody's dancing! In the Bay Area we "goin' dumb", "thizz'n", and gettin' "hyphy". In LA they "krump'n" and gettin' "buck". The dirty South they doin the "snap dance". The west coast dances have evolved from the emotions and culture of the environment."

Just last night I took the wife out for an evening of dinner and dance and it just so happens we were "goin' dumb" and gettin' "hyphy" til sun up. It was just a delightful night, one I was fortunate to share with a couple of colleagues and their charming wives as well. They were gettin' "buck" all night and I even had to say to one friend, "Whoa! Slow down, old boy. You're liable to hurt yourself and you'll be no good for our cricket match tomorrow." Do I have some great yarns to spin for the guys at the yacht club about this crazy night out!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Albert Cardinal Pujols

Pope names 15 new cardinals - Europe -

Image hosting by Photobucket
"Pope Benedict XVI named 15 new cardinals Wednesday, including John Paul II's longtime private secretary and prelates from Boston and Hong Kong, adding his first installment to the elite group of churchmen who will elect his successor."

Image hosting by Photobucket
This has kind of gone under the radar and it's not even mentioned in this article, but congratulations to Cardinal Albert Pujols for being one of the 15 Cardinals chosen by the Pope. Though I'm a Detroit Tigers fan, I have to give credit where credit is due and with the seasons he's been putting together since he came into the league, I knew it was only a matter of time before he got some divine recognition.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Art That's Very Artistically Done

Ando Hiroshige

Image hosting by Photobucket
I'm but a simple man and I don't know nothin' 'bout art and other fancy stuff, but I do know that the artwork on this site speaks to me. Unfortunately it speaks to me in Japanese and I have no idea what it's saying, but I still get a sense of it's greatness.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Don't Let the Door Hit You On the Way Out - MLB - Bonds: Im not playing baseball anymore after this

Image hosting by Photobucket
Barry Bonds is preparing to enter spring training for his 21st -- and, he says, final -- Major League Baseball season. The Giants slugger, who is 47 home runs shy of Hank Aaron's all-time record, told USA Today on Sunday he plans to retire after this season -- with or without the home run record.

"I'm not playing baseball anymore after this," Bonds told the paper in a telephone interview from his California home. "The game [isn't] fun anymore. I'm tired of all of the crap going on. I want to play this year out, hopefully win, and once the season is over, go home and be with my family. Maybe then everybody can just forget about me."

Don't let the cheerful disposition fool you, Barry Bonds is a notoriously bad guy in sports. I remember reading an article in the National Enquirer years ago (so you know it must be true!) about how when Bing Crosby died, his youngest son Lindsay was playing tennis when he was informed of his father's death, whom he had had a very poor relationship with to say the least. According to the article he stopped playing and stood there for a second then continued on with the game without saying a word. As a baseball fan, that's basically my reaction to hearing of Barry Bonds's retirement plans...but without the pause.

Friday, February 17, 2006

All the Cool Countries Are Doing It

NASA chief warns against spaceflight gap - Space News -

Image hosting by Photobucket
"The U.S. human spaceflight program is "strained to the limit," NASA's chief said Thursday, warning against any long gap between the end of the shuttle era and the first flight of a planned new spaceship.

"The United States risks both a real and a perceived loss of leadership on the world stage if we are unable to launch our own astronauts into space for an extended period of time when other nations possess their own capabilities to do so," NASA Administrator Michael Griffin told a congressional committee."

And if other nations were jumping off a bridge would we do it too? Seriously, I think this is the first time I've ever heard a scientist use the "everyone else is doing it" excuse. I don't know what he's worried about though, I think we've proven the United States to be very good at lauching people out into space. It's just the "bringing them back safely" part that we haven't exactly perfected yet.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Hoff Loves You

Image hosting by Photobucket
Many years ago David Hasselhoff was on the daytime soap, "The Young and the Restless" and he played a character named "Snapper". I'll say that again, he played a character named "Snapper".

Monday, February 13, 2006

Strike One!

Image hosting by Photobucket
"Saddam Hussein and three former officials in his regime on Tuesday told the court handling their trial that they were on a hunger strike in protest of the judge overseeing the proceedings."

Image hosting by Photobucket
If we're lucky he'll keep this up long enough so that the rest of the trial isn't even necessary. I think I may have mentioned this before, but have you ever noticed that while good people in all walks of life are dying tragically and much too soon all the time, dictators never just drop dead of heart attack or anything? For example, you'd think the way Castro smoked cigars his whole life he'd at least have the decency to get lung cancer or something, jeez! As it is he'll probably live to be 100. He's like George Burns except not as funny. Not near as funny.

Whittington's Friend

Image hosting by Photobucket

"A 78-year-old hunting companion of Vice President Dick Cheney was recovering in stable condition Monday after Cheney accidentally shot him during a weekend quail hunting trip, a hospital official said.

Harry Whittington spent "a great night. He slept throughout the night," said Yvonne Wheeler, spokeswoman at Christus Spohn Hospital Memorial. She listed his condition as "very stable," but said she did not know if Whittington would be discharged Monday."

No seriously, he's doing fine. Couldn't be better. If there was something above "stable", he'd be that. He doesn't feel a bit like he just got shot by the VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!!!

Dick Cheney may shoot people, but at least he doesn't lie about creating the internet.

Friday, February 10, 2006

They're Getting So Picky About Carry On

Human skull found in airport luggage - Peculiar Postings -

Image hosting by Photobucket

"Baggage screeners found what they believe is a human skull in a passenger's luggage at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport, authorities said.

The female passenger arrived Thursday from Haiti aboard Lynx International Airlines Flight 203, Zack Mann, spokesman for the federal Bureau of Customs and Border Protection told WTVJ-TV.

The woman is being questioned by authorities and has not been arrested, Mann said. The Broward County medical examiner's office was assisting with the investigation."

The problem isn't so much that the woman was trying to bring a human skull into the country, but that she forgot to declare it. I'm sure after a little paperwork she'll be on her way.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Whiskey River Took His Mind

California gets a whiff of BioWillie - Celebrity News -

"Willie Nelson introduced California to "BioWillie", his brand of clean-burning fuel made from soybeans.

BioWillie went on sale Wednesday at an alternative fuel station in San Diego where the 72-year-old singer filled his tour bus from a pump emblazoned with a picture of himself strumming a guitar.

"It is the future," Nelson said. "Through biodiesel, we can reduce dependency on foreign oil and adopt an energy source that's clean renewable and helps family farmers find new uses for their products."

Sounds good and all, but I really have to take the idea with a grain of salt when it's coming from a guy famous for a song called "Whiskey River". I have to admit though that if soybean fuel really works It's quite an innovation, it's just that Willie Nelson is the last guy I would have ever expected to champion the alternative fuel cause. And a hillbilly shall lead them, I guess.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Forbidden Love

* Just a little something I threw together in Photoshop *

Image hosting by Photobucket
"I wish I could quit you John Boy."


Woman does mouth-to- beak to save chicken - Peculiar Postings -
"Sometimes a chicken does have lips, just not her own. Marian Morris saved her brother's exotic chicken, Boo Boo, by administering "mouth-to-beak" resuscitation on the fowl after it was found floating face down in the family's pond."

Image hosting by Photobucket
Then she ate it.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Paint It Black (and Gold) - NFL - Recap

Image hosting by Photobucket
"The Pittsburgh Steelers were the overwhelming sentimental Super Bowl XL favorites, both here and in Las Vegas, but for better than three quarters, the Seattle Seahawks had Pittsburgh engaged in a serious football game.

Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck had just thrown a boneheaded interception, but the Steelers were still clinging to a tenuous 14-10 fourth-quarter lead when they busted out a trick play that, considering its place in this ultimate game, will outstrip the Music City Miracle."

I watched the Super Bowl with my dad and my brother and although the game itself was just so-so, it was still nice that they had it right here in Detroit this year. The best part of the evening though was when my dad complained about the Rolling Stones with, "It's just a bunch of don't even know what he's saying!" and my brother, without missing a beat, said "You just don't understand your generation's music."


He Was a Good One

Tasmanian devils bedeviled by cancer - Science -
"A mysterious illness that has killed tens of thousands of Tasmanian devils is caused by cancerous tumors that are spread by ferocious squabbling among the carnivorous marsupials, according to research published Thursday.

Numbers of the black, fox-sized scavengers with a bloodcurdling growl and powerful jaws that crunch through the bones of much larger animals have plunged in the past decade on Australia's island state of Tasmania, which is their only natural habitat."

Image hosting by Photobucket
What's really sad is that the passing of one of the cartoon world's most beloved characters was not even mentioned in this article.

Here's what IMDB says about him:

Date of birth (location)
19 June 1936
Warsaw, Poland

Date of death (details)
2 February 2006
Los Angeles, California, USA (respiratory failure due to cancer)

Got his start doing stunt work in Disney Films.

Biography for
Tasmanian Devil

Birth name
Tazmanian Rafal Divilski

30cm (11.8 inches)

Mini biography

Tasmanian moved to the United States from Warsaw with his family at the age of nine. As a teen he received intense pressure from his parents to go to medical school and did indeed attend Columbia for a short time before dropping out to pursue his own dream of acting. Taz found roles hard to come by though and, realizing that his heavy accent was hurting his chances at speaking roles, began working with a speaking coach. Around this time he had also taken a job cleaning up the Disney movie lots and was spotted by none other than Walt Disney himself, who noticed the way Taz performed his duties with reckless abandon and offered him a job doing stunt work on Disney shorts. He proved a natural and a month later Disney signed him to a two year contract doubling exclusively for Mickey Mouse. Taz found the life of a stuntman hard, grueling work and after breaking both legs in a scene where Mickey falls from a table, decided to leave Disney at the end of his contract. When he was back on his feet again fate smiled on Tasmanian when his agent received word that Warner Bros. was looking for someone to play opposite their top star, Bugs Bunny, in a new short entitled "Devil May Hare" (1954). Taz won the role and acted in four more successful shorts for Warner Bros. before they shut down their animation studios in 1964. Having made enough off these shorts to get by comfortably on, Tasmanian lived in semi-retirement with his wife and three kids in Los Angeles until the late 80's when Warner Bros. animation studios enjoyed a renaissance, as did Tasmanian's career. He continued acting even after being diagnosed with cancer and had even been signed to team up once again with his old pal Bugs Bunny in "Hare and Now" which was set to begin production in summer 2006.

Dorothy Devil

Trade mark
Spinning around really fast. Huge appetite.

Sometimes credited as:
Tazmanian Devil, Taz Devil, Taz

I think I speak for everyone when I say he'll be missed.

Friday, February 03, 2006

On the Lam

Pregnant wife's 15-year-old husband runs away - U.S. Life -

Image hosting by Photobucket
"A 15-year-old boy whose 37-year-old wife is due to give birth to the couple's baby this month has run away from a group home, prompting the boy's grandmother to speculate that the wife was involved in the disappearance."

You just know he's gonna be grounded when he gets home.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

A Life of Crime

Burglar solved math problems -

Image hosting by Photobucket
"A highly unusual break-in at a grammar school in Klæbu resulted in a bit of mental exercise. The burglar(s) did not appear to be out after material gain. Instead of stealing, the intruder(s) sat down and began to solve the math problems intended for third grade students, newspaper Adresseavisen reports. According to local law enforcement officials a good job was done and all of the problems were solved correctly. There has been nothing reported missing or stolen from the school building and it remains a mystery how the intruder or intruders gained access to the school."

Image hosting by Photobucket
I swear, if I was gonna turn to a life of crime that's what I would do. I'd break into schools and solve math problems on chalkboards. I'd dub myself the "Chalkboard Bandit" and leave a calling card on the teacher's desk. I'd take nothing. When I eventually got caught I'd call it performance art and say it was a commentary on the poor school systems in this country. I'd probably get community service or a very light sentence. Once the court proceedings were behind me I'd parlay my certain fame into talk show appearances and a book deal (I'd call my autobiography "Addition By Subtraction: My Life as the Chalkboard Bandit"). I might even go on a speaking tour where the subject would be "Revamping the Education System In America". I'd probably get civic awards for my tireless efforts and at some point wind up serving in the U.S. Department of Education in some important position. Later, I'd be hired as a consultant for a major university and retire after amassing a nice fortune. On my deathbed I'd admit that the only reason I broke into schools and solved math problems in the first place was to teach kids the following lesson - crime does pay and when it does, you better be able to add up all the dollars you're raking in! That would be a life well lived.